The Power of Acceptance: Lessons Learned from a Second Grade Experiment

“In time we hate that which we often fear.” – William Shakespeare 

As children, we are often shaped by experiences that stay with us for life. One of the most lasting lessons I learned was from a film shown to my second grade class in Silver Spring, Maryland. Ms. Plumb showed us "Blue Eyes & Brown Eyes" that chronicled a powerful experiment designed to show the impact of discrimination. The lesson I learned from that film has stuck with me, shaping my understanding of hate, acceptance and personal growth. 

The filmed experiment took place over two days with a group of third grade students. The first day, teacher Jane Elliott divided her class into two groups based on their eye color—blue-eyed students and brown-eyed students. She told the blue-eyed group that they were superior and gave them privileges, such as more food, playtime and front-of-the-class seating. Members of the brown-eyed group were told they were inferior and subjected to restrictions, such as wearing fabric collars and sitting in the back of the class. 

The results were immediate and striking. The blue-eyed students began to show signs of arrogance and bossiness, while the brown-eyed students became timid and submissive. Their behaviors mirrored the roles they had been assigned. Even more startling, the students' academic performance shifted: the blue-eyed students’ grades improved, while the brown-eyed students' grades dropped. 

At a young age, I saw firsthand that disliking a person for how they’re created and who they are affects their behavior and sense of self-worth. Watching the students change based on something as arbitrary as eye color made me question how hate and prejudice could influence the way we see others and ourselves. This lesson stuck with me. The experiment showed me how easily discrimination could warp our perceptions and behavior, turning even young children into perpetrators of prejudice. 

I've come to realize that radical acceptance isn’t just a grace we give to others, it’s a gift we give to ourselves. When we let go of judgment, we open the door to greater empathy and a deeper connection with the world around us. 

Let the haters judge, ignore or turn away because of who you are. Some people will hold on to their hate rather than face what they’ve done to themselves through that hatred. Let them go, with the power of grace. Allowing them to walk their path of bitterness only opens space for you to walk in peace, acceptance and understanding. 

Accepting life and people as they are—without judgment—inspires growth, connection and, most importantly, grace. It’s a gift we give ourselves, and a gift we share with our world. With that gift, we can change not only our lives but also the lives of those we encounter.